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...there was a band. Okay, not really. But
that sure would have made the bible an easier read. One day we played
something resembling music. Then things went to shit. Then we reunited
and had an awesome reunion tour.
We love to eat donuts. They are completely awesome.
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Aron Autio
Bass Guitar, Keyboards, Hats
With a last name like Autio, how could you not be in a band? Aron brings years
of guitar playing experience, not to mention a look on his face that says
"I'm going to kick your ass with my bass playing. Don't f*ck with me!"
Please, don't f*ck with him. Aron likes cats.
Favorite Bands: ABBA, Slayer, ABBA, Cannibal Corpse, ABBA, The Pussycat Dolls
Favorite Songs: Lord Abortion, Dancing Queen
What Aron's Listening to Now: "Gimme That Nut" by Eazy-E
Email
Aron |
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Tony Stella
Lead Guitars, Choreographer, Lil' Cowpoke
I could say something here, but I
think the picture speaks for itself. Tony has beer-bonged a cat. It
blew his mind.
Favorite Bands: Neil Young,
Neil Sedaka, Neil Armstrong
Favorite Songs: Ants Marching,
Love Hurts, I've had the Time of my Life
What Tony is Listening to Now:
"Rhinestone Cowboy" by Glen Campbell
Email
Tony |
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Trevor Wolter
Drummer, Singer, Parolee
Trevor hits a lot of things. Because of this, his court-appointed therapist
recommended he play the drums--and to "please, please let me live!" After paying
for his therapist's hospital bills and serving 200 hours of community service driving
a school bus, Trevor saved up enough money to buy one fucking sweet drum kit.
And a gun. Trevor is the best drummer in the world. (Someone help us...PLEASE?!
Call the cops, do something--anything! Oh god, he's coming). Trevor
had a cat.
Favorite Bands: Simon and
Garfunkel, Donna Summer, Winger
Favorite Songs: We Wish You
a Merry Christmas, This Kiss, I Used To Love Her
What Trevor is Listening to Now: His Miranda rights
Email
Trevor
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Bill Sage
Rhythm Guitars, Talk Boxer, Laotian Orphan
The last name of "Sage" conjures up thoughts of wisdom or that pukey green color.
While there is some green in Bill's eyes, there is nothing in his head. You
could get more brain activity out of Terry Schaivo today then you could with this
guy. The fact that his name resembles the term "bull shit" is not a coincidence
either. Bill has not made contact with the band in quite some time.
He was last seen on Valentine's Day at "Friskies" in Jefferson. Please email
the website if you have seen him since.
Favorite Bands: Slayer, Hanson, Roger "The" Whitaker
Favorite Songs: Total Eclipse of the Heart, Up up and away, Extra-Chromosome Girl
What Bill is Listening to Now: "When
we ride" by Tupac
Email
Bill
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Tom Wegner
Lead Vocals, Crack baby, Cowbell
Tom is a singer. He has no sense of humor, and if you were to ask certain
people (his kindergarten teacher, for example) they'd tell you he has no soul. He doesn't even like cats.
And he kind of smells.
Favorite Bands: Snow, Wesley
Willis, Starship
Favorite Songs: Foolish Games,
Jesus Built My Hotrod, Genie in a Bottle
What Tom is Listening to Now: The
sound of one hand clapping
Email Tom |
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